THE FELINE STARE: Its purpose, its use and its effect.


Padma's Pamplet:

Hello lesser beings. Pamda the cat goddess here to enlighten you on the purpose of THE STARE. If you are owned by a cat, you will know THE STARE. For advanced beings, such as myself, it is the only way of communicating with lower life forms, such as yourselves.

Here is a photo of THE STARE, in case you are still wandering around trying to comprehend this offering:

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This is myself, of course, with the correct position for THE STARE. Notice that I am not staring directly at the camera, but slightly to the left and above. Thus, my thoughts get transmuted to the ether appropriately, where, if you are intelligent enough, you may pick them up. Here is an inappropriate use of THE STARE by my sister Maddy:

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Notice how she is staring directly into the camera? This is a sheer beauty pose and has nothing to do…

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Ambergris by any other name….is still Vomit.


Grace, the Maine Coon, is now retired and lives a happy life with her ‘sister’ Blue in Idylwild, CA. While there is no chance of observing whales puking, there is ample time for watching birds and contributing to the volume of cat puke. Grace also chases her dreams of becoming the first lady of Cat-Puke Based Perfume.

Padma's Pamplet:

Ambergris by any other name…. is still Vomit.

Why not Cat Puke?

Hello all. Today I, Grace the Maine Coon Cat, am writing and I am choosing the topic. Today we are pondering the unfairness of cat vomit and its unpopular reception. This morning, for instance, I myself managed a grand pile of puke, the reception of which was unpopular. It may not have helped that my person stepped in the wet pile.

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For information purposes, it did contain fur, but primarily was composed of my persons’ breakfast which I had taken the liberty to delicately feast upon. Nonetheless, I recently found out (by watching over my person’s shoulder) that some guy found a pile of whale vomit on some beach, which made him instantly rich. I would like to object to this speciesism! It is clear prejudice. How can a pile of whale puke on the beach…

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Companionable


Best Friends

Best Friends

Both my Golden retriever, Cassi and my Maine Coon, Estevan, are gone now. While they were alive they were inseparable friends. Sometimes Estevan would sleep on top of Cassi. They were my buddies and companions, and companions to each other as well.

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Ambergris by any other name….is still Vomit.


Ambergris by any other name…. is still Vomit.

Why not Cat Puke?

Hello all. Today I, Grace the Maine Coon Cat, am writing and I am choosing the topic. Today we are pondering the unfairness of cat vomit and its unpopular reception. This morning, for instance, I myself managed a grand pile of puke, the reception of which was unpopular. It may not have helped that my person stepped in the wet pile.

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For information purposes, it did contain fur, but primarily was composed of my persons’ breakfast which I had taken the liberty to delicately feast upon. Nonetheless, I recently found out (by watching over my person’s shoulder) that some guy found a pile of whale vomit on some beach, which made him instantly rich. I would like to object to this speciesism! It is clear prejudice. How can a pile of whale puke on the beach fetch some guy a bunch of money and my carefully selected offering of hairball ingredients be greeted with such distain? Who put whale vomit in perfume in the first place? Vomit is probably why my delicate nose objects to the stuff. Perfume makes me sneeze. Okay, some people use Whale vomit for perfume, but has anyone ever TRIED cat puke as a base for perfume? Here is my challenge then: I would like anyone to get back to me, Grace, if you have tried cat vomit in perfume. If not, then the challenge to all you professional Nez’s, or Perfumers is to try cat hairballs! Here are three reasons to experiment: a. Hairballs are cheaper (because we will produce more of them), B. Hairballs smell nicer, and C. Cats are easy companions to have around once we have vomited for your perfume pleasure. Let me know how that goes, will you?

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THE FELINE STARE: Its purpose, its use and its effect.


Hello lesser beings. Pamda the cat goddess here to enlighten you on the purpose of THE STARE. If you are owned by a cat, you will know THE STARE. For advanced beings, such as myself, it is the only way of communicating with lower life forms, such as yourselves.

Here is a photo of THE STARE, in case you are still wandering around trying to comprehend this offering:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

This is myself, of course, with the correct position for THE STARE. Notice that I am not staring directly at the camera, but slightly to the left and above. Thus, my thoughts get transmuted to the ether appropriately, where, if you are intelligent enough, you may pick them up. Here is an inappropriate use of THE STARE by my sister Maddy:

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Notice how she is staring directly into the camera? This is a sheer beauty pose and has nothing to do with communicating with lesser beings (such as yourselves). It is very irritating to me that she poses, but she also allows the dog to use her as a pillow. These things are out of my control.

Now, the purpose of THE STARE, of course, is communication, as I stated previously (it is good to repeat myself, however irritating, for lesser beings such as yourselves). The use of THE STARE is purely to project thoughts into the ether, where you may pick them up. It took my human a mere week to pick up my thoughts about feeding me appropriate canned cat food, but then again I have chosen a supremely intelligent human. Your cat may not be so fortunate.

Transmutation of feline thoughts into the human brain, and thus into service of feline kind, is a tricky business at best. For you lesser beings, I can only, inadequately describe it as farting in a room. The human concerned may or may not pick up this ‘fart’. The tricky part comes in, of course, as to what the human will do with this ‘fart’. They may ignore it. They may add chemicals to it.

If, however, they adequately address the actual problem and confront the ‘farter’ they may understand the need. They are pretty quick, once they pay attention. Perhaps I am a bit spoiled, though. As I mentioned, I have a superior human. You are most likely not so lucky. In signing off , leaving you to ponder my musings, I also leave you with an excellent example (besides my own portrait, of course) of THE STARE. This is my father Indra‘s Net Sun Flare:

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I, Maddy the Maine Coon, train my pet puppy Rose the Border Collie


So, you know, cats are really smarter than dogs (and people). I like to sit in on the training sessions with my person and my puppy. I get little bites of chicken for sitting on the table. It’s fairly simple. I impress the heck out of my person AND get to take some treats away from the dog to boot. It really is a win-win-win situation for me. I win ~ I take treats from the dog (who doesn’t get them because I do). I win ~ the dog thinks I am doing it because I like her. And, I win ~ my person is impressed with me, which in turn gets me more chicken.

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“I had a bath today.” and other indignities Maine Coons must suffer.


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I went to my bowl, and it is empty.

I had a bath today.

My sister Padma had no sympathy.

I had a bath today.

I am gorgeous and I must suffer the trials of a beauty queen.

But, when the torture of bathing’s over, and my nails are trim and clean,

Food relieves the stress of bathing, or I am sneaky and I am mean.

So,if I toil for perfection, Padma, there’s something to explain:

Before you eat all my food remember,

I had a bath today.

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